Be a Happier Parent

Ep 19: Can We Build Resilience? With Tim Curtis

You can find additional resources from Tim here: https://resilienceshield.com/
Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
Full videos of the episodes available on YouTube @alexindadland
Keywords
resilience, parenting, adversity, children, self-leadership, technology, community, struggle, mental health, emotional intelligence
Summary
In this conversation, Tim Curtis shares his insights on resilience, particularly in children, drawing from his experiences in the SAS and his work in teaching resilience. He emphasizes the importance of adversity in building resilience, the role of struggle in achieving happiness, and the need for children to engage in free play and face risks to develop agency and problem-solving skills. Curtis also discusses the impact of technology on children's mental health and the importance of trust and communication in parenting.
Takeaways
Resilience is built through adversity and stress.Children need to experience some stress to develop resilience.Allowing children to sit in their emotions is crucial for self-awareness.Struggle is essential for true happiness and growth.Boredom can lead to creativity and self-leadership in children.Community and free play are vital for children's development.Technology can impair resilience if not monitored properly.Trusting children to navigate risks fosters independence.Parents should model vulnerability and risk-taking for their children.Building a supportive community can enhance parenting and child development.
Titles
Building Resilient Kids: Insights from an SAS VeteranThe Importance of Adversity in Child Development
Sound bites
"Resilience needs stress to be built.""With risk comes opportunity.""You can't just strip out the risk."
Chapters
00:00 From Soldier to Advocate for Children06:29 The Link Between Resilience and Morality06:42 Understanding Resilience: Definitions and Components11:28 Resilience: A Dynamic and Modifiable Concept16:07 The Necessity of Adversity in Building Resilience20:24 Happiness Through Struggle vs. Comfort24:27 Harnessing Synthetic Happiness for Better Outcomes25:03 Navigating Happiness: Synthetic vs. Enduring Joy26:05 The Importance of Boredom and Self-Leadership28:40 Challenging Negativity Bias in Parenting29:53 The Role of Free Play in Child Development34:23 Understanding Screen Time and Its Impact42:50 Lessons from Parenting: Embracing Individuality46:20 Finding Alternatives to Team Sports47:56 The Power of Communal Parenting51:42 Risk, Opportunity, and Resilience in Parenting

Ep 18: Trauma, Healing and Change with Ben May

You can find the New Normal Charity @tnncharity on Instagram. Website: https://www.thenewnormalcharity.org/
Ben also coaches men on developing empathy and changing the way they think, behave and react both in work and life. You can find him on Instagram @ldn_brbr or email ben@thenewnormalcharity.org
Please follow me on Instagram or TikTok @beahappierparent. Full videos of the episodes are available on YouTube @alexindadland
Keywords
grief, trauma, identity, loss, support, relationships, parenthood, mental health, healing, self-discovery
Summary
In this conversation, Alex Trippier and Ben discuss the complexities of grief, trauma, and identity. They explore how personal experiences shape our understanding of loss and the importance of shared experiences in healing. Ben shares his journey through grief after losing his father and how it impacted his relationships and behavior. They also touch on the gendered responses to grief and the societal expectations placed on men. The discussion emphasizes the need for open communication and support in navigating grief and the ongoing journey of self-discovery and change.
Takeaways
Grief is a unique experience for everyone.Time does not erase the pain of loss.Shared experiences can foster connection and understanding.Men often struggle to express their emotions.Parenthood can change one's perspective on grief.Trauma can shape our identities and behaviors.It's important to seek support during difficult times.Understanding different types of loss is crucial.Communication is key in relationships affected by grief.Self-discovery is an ongoing journey influenced by our past.
Titles
Navigating the Complexities of GriefThe Impact of Trauma on Identity
Sound bites
"I just want to feel normal again.""Grief is a confusing thing.""Men don't speak about things."
Chapters
00:00 Understanding Grief and the New Normal37:30 The Scotch Egg Theory of Grief46:12 The Complexity of Loss and Relationships49:11 Gender Differences in Grief Responses51:01 The Journey of Self-Discovery in Fatherhood56:35 Understanding Addiction and Masculinity01:01:19 Parenting and Personal Growth

Ep 17: What Happens When Dads are Put in Charge? With Dr Marte Bergan

Check out Marte’s full thesis here:
https://ora.ox.ac.uk/objects/uuid:800e3289-08ad-449f-a00d-f5da87f1100d
You help make some similar changes to our parental leave system by getting involved with The Dad Shift www.dadshift.org.uk
Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
 
Keywords
gender equality, Norway, parental leave, daddy quota, family dynamics, cultural values, work-life balance, childcare, feminism, societal norms
Summary
In this conversation, Marte discusses the cultural and governmental factors that have shaped gender equality in Norway, particularly in relation to parental leave policies and the daddy quota. The discussion explores the evolving roles of fathers in childcare, the dynamics of resentment in relationships, and the long-term impacts of these policies on family life. Marte emphasizes the importance of shared responsibilities and the need for societal change to foster a more egalitarian approach to parenting and work-life balance.
Takeaways
Gender equality is deeply embedded in Norwegian culture.Government policies have played a crucial role in promoting gender equality.The daddy quota encourages fathers to take an active role in childcare.Cultural values in Norway prioritize family time and work-life balance.Mothers often retain the managerial role in family dynamics.Resentment can arise from unequal distribution of parenting responsibilities.Parental leave policies impact long-term family relationships.Fathers in Norway are seen as experts in childcare due to their involvement.The corporate culture in Norway supports flexible working hours for both parents.Societal norms need to evolve to support shared parenting responsibilities.
Titles
Exploring Gender Equality in NorwayThe Impact of the Daddy Quota
Sound bites
"It's in our national DNA.""We value family time.""It's use it or lose it."
Chapters
00:00 Cultural Foundations of Parenthood04:03 The Daddy Quota: A Game Changer06:55 Work-Life Balance in Norway vs. the UK08:37 The Impact of Gender Roles on Parenting11:06 Men's Perspectives on Parenting and Work13:35 Long-Term Effects of Parental Leave Policies16:09 The Importance of Shared Responsibilities19:03 Conclusions and Future Directions31:42 Work-Life Balance in Norway vs. the UK34:45 Resentment in Parenting Roles36:51 Judgment and Gender Expectations40:53 Redefining Parenting Roles45:56 The Manager vs. Expert Dynamic49:57 Cultural Shifts in Parenting52:43 The System of Gendered Parenting

Ep 16: How Not to Hate Your Partner with Jancee Dunn

Find me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
Summary
In this conversation, Jancee Dunn shares her experiences navigating the complexities of marriage and parenthood, highlighting the unexpected challenges that arise when transitioning into parenthood. She discusses the importance of communication, the impact of societal expectations on relationships, and the necessity of seeking help through couples therapy. Dunn emphasizes the need for clarity in roles and responsibilities, as well as the importance of reconnecting with one's partner after having children. The conversation also touches on the challenges of maintaining intimacy and the emotional toll of parenting on relationships.
Chapters
00:00 Communication Breakdown in Relationships07:42 The Asymmetry of Communication Between Genders10:21 Understanding Stonewalling and Its Effects16:19 The Role of Empathy in Conflict Resolution18:14 Seeking Help: The Journey to Therapy24:30 Terry Real's Tough Love Approach30:39 The Impact of Parental Conflict on Children32:20 Breaking the Cycle of Anger33:13 Understanding Communication in Relationships33:58 Reconnecting as Partners34:53 Navigating the Transition to Empty Nest35:48 Establishing Systems for Relationship Health37:30 The Importance of Date Nights38:56 Mindfulness in Parenting and Relationships42:51 The Impact of Sensuality on Intimacy43:49 The Work Behind a Healthy Sex Life47:51 Resentment and Connection in Relationships51:29 Preparing for Parenthood53:31 The Division of Labor in Parenting56:03 Negotiation and Clarity in Relationships56:53 The Power Imbalance in Relationships
Keywords
parenthood, relationships, communication, couples therapy, intimacy, family dynamics, conflict resolution, marriage, parenting challenges, emotional connection
Takeaways
We were one of those annoying couples who rarely fought.You don't know until it happens how your life is going to completely turn upside down.We passed it, but not us.There's something taboo about this fighting that goes on behind closed doors.I would expect him to read my mind.It's not taking a break. It's punitive.You can't talk to him like that.What are you giving to the relationship?You have to learn to negotiate.It's comforting to know a lot of us are going through this.
Titles
Navigating Parenthood: The Realities of MarriageCommunication in Relationships: The Key to Connection
Sound Bites
"We passed it, but not us.""You can't talk to him like that.""You have to learn to negotiate."
 
 
 

Ep 15: Teenagers and the Wonder and Delight of Uncertainty with Rachel Kelly

You can find Rachel on https://rachel-kelly.net/
Follow me on Instagram @beahappierparent
Summary
In this conversation, Rachel Kelly discusses the complexities of parenting teenagers, emphasizing the importance of self-relationship, connection, and understanding. She explores how parents can navigate their own needs while fostering autonomy in their children, the illusion of control, and the impact of societal expectations on parenting. The dialogue highlights the significance of compassion, judgment, and the evolving nature of parent-child relationships as children grow into adulthood.
Takeaways
Your main relationship is with yourself.Connecting with teenagers requires understanding and compassion.Parents must navigate their own needs while supporting their children.The illusion of control can hinder relationships with teenagers.Managing expectations and anxiety is crucial in parenting.Embracing differences and individuality fosters connection.Judgment can be detrimental; compassion is key.The parent-child relationship evolves as children grow.Supporting children means assisting, not rescuing them.Parenting becomes more rewarding as children mature.
Keywords
parenting, teenagers, self-relationship, connection, control, anxiety, compassion, individuality, judgment, growth
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Personal Connections04:20 Emotional Regulation and Connection05:32 The Evolution of Parent-Teen Relationships06:43 Letting Go of Control09:30 The Shift in Parenting Dynamics10:19 Practical Strategies for Better Communication12:41 Expectations and Reality in Family Life15:51 The Importance of Timing in Conversations18:28 Nutrition and Well-being for Teenagers24:53 Navigating Parenting Challenges26:58 Understanding Anxiety in Parenting29:29 The Gendered Anxiety Gap33:43 Embracing Uncertainty in Parenting37:54 Judgment and Compassion in Parenting42:10 The Importance of Connection45:06 Redefining Pride and Agency in Parenting51:24 The Evolving Parent-Child Relationship
Titles
Navigating the Teenage Years: A Parent's GuideThe Art of Connection: Parenting Teens
Sound Bites
"We want to connect, right?""What else could be possible?""You can learn and grow."
 
 
 

Ep 14: Get Better at Being Angry with Sam Parker

 
 
You can find Sam on Substack @goodanger and Instagram @samparkeruk
You can find me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent and full videos of these episodes are available on Youtube @alexindadland
Summary
This conversation delves into the complexities of anger, exploring its multifaceted nature, gender dynamics, and its role in relationships and parenting. The speakers discuss how societal norms shape our understanding of anger, the importance of expressing it in healthy ways, and the need for emotional awareness in both personal and professional contexts. They emphasize the significance of recognizing anger as a valid emotion that can lead to positive change when managed effectively.
Takeaways
Anger is a multifaceted emotion that can be both constructive and destructive.Gender plays a significant role in how anger is perceived and expressed.Healthy relationships require the ability to express anger and resolve conflicts.Modeling healthy conflict resolution for children is crucial in parenting.Anger in the workplace often goes unaddressed, leading to disengagement.Somatic awareness can help individuals identify and process their anger.Anger can serve as a signal for unmet needs and insecurities.Trial and error is essential in learning how to manage anger effectively.Understanding the body’s response to anger can enhance emotional intelligence.Embracing anger as a natural emotion can lead to personal growth and healthier relationships.
Chapters
00:00 Understanding Anger: A Gendered Emotion07:51 The Role of Anger in Parenting and Social Media13:08 Rethinking Anger: Beyond Aggression and Violence19:09 Anger as a Tool for Self-Discovery24:00 Anger in Relationships: Navigating Conflict30:11 Quiet Quitting: The Impact of Unexpressed Anger36:11 The Complexity of Anger in Parenting39:04 Modeling Healthy Conflict Resolution42:02 Understanding Anger as a Primary Emotion46:30 Anger: A Servant or a Master?52:25 The Body's Role in Emotional Awareness57:29 Integrating Body and Mind in Emotional Health
Titles
The Complexity of Anger: Understanding Its Role in Our LivesGender Dynamics of Anger: Who Gets to Express It?
Sound Bites
"Anger is a multifaceted emotion.""Who gets to feel angry?""Anger at work is often avoided."
 

Ep 13: Navigating Postnatal Depression with Sally Bunkham

You can find all the support PANDAS offer here: https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/
Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
In this conversation, Alex Trippier speaks with Sally from the Pandas Foundation about the complexities of parenting, mental health, and the challenges faced by parents, particularly those dealing with autism. They explore the emotional struggles of new parents, the realities of postnatal depression, and the importance of support systems. The discussion also touches on the unique experiences of fathers and the dynamics of family relationships, emphasizing the need for open communication and understanding in navigating these challenges.
Chapters
00:00 New Chapter02:57 The Impact of the Pandemic on Mental Health Services03:51 Personal Journey: Sally's Experience with Motherhood09:19 Navigating Relationships During Parenting Challenges15:24 Seeking Help: The Importance of Support Services20:16 Understanding Mental Health: Labels and Misconceptions25:00 The Role of Communication in Relationships25:58 New Rock bottom26:32 Sleeping and anonymity30:37 Modern Support: Technology and Accessibility in Mental Health32:31 Building Relationships Through Support Services33:31 Dads and Mental Health: Breaking the Stigma36:27 Navigating Trauma and Anxiety in Parenthood40:31 Understanding Autism: The Journey to Diagnosis47:54 The Intersection of Autism and Parenting Challenges56:03 Balancing Parenting Styles: Communication and Compromise
Takeaways
Parenting often differs greatly from expectations.Mental health struggles are common among parents.Postnatal depression is a serious issue that needs attention.Support systems are crucial for parents' well-being.Dads face unique mental health challenges during parenthood.Autism presents specific parenting dynamics and challenges.Open communication is key in relationships during parenting.It's important to validate feelings of struggle and anxiety.Navigating family expectations can be complex and stressful.Finding balance in parenting responsibilities is essential.
Keywords
parenting, mental health, postnatal depression, autism, family dynamics, support, fatherhood, motherhood, emotional well-being, parenting challenges
Sound Bites
"Sally has two children with autism.""How do we support each other as couples?""Autism's such a wide spectrum."
 
 

Ep 12: Breadwinners and Caregivers with Melissa Hogenboom

You can find Melissa on Instagram @melissa_hogenboom
Full episodes available with video on Youtube @alexindadland
Please follow me on Instagram or TikTok @beahappierparent
Join Melissa Hogenboom and Alex Trippier as they delve into the intricate dynamics of power, status, and gender roles in modern society. This episode explores how these elements influence our personal and professional lives, with a particular focus on parenting and relationships.
Key Topics:
The intersection of power, status, and money Gender roles and expectations in parenting The impact of societal norms on personal choices Insights from Melissa's book on power dynamics
Highlights:
Melissa discusses the concept of "faux power" in the home and its implications. Alex shares personal anecdotes about balancing work and family life. The duo examines the evolving roles of mothers and fathers in today's world.
Quotes:
"Status is not a luxury, it's a basic human need." - Melissa Hogenboom "We need to make the invisible visible in our relationships." - Alex Trippier
Call to Action: Don't miss this engaging conversation that challenges traditional views and offers fresh perspectives on achieving balance in life. Subscribe now to stay updated on future episodes!
Hashtags: #PowerDynamics #Parenting #GenderRoles #Podcast

Ep 11: The Big Gender Gap with Rowan Whitehead

Find me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent and Youtube @alexindadland
Summary
This conversation delves into the complexities of parenting, particularly focusing on the gender dynamics that contribute to burnout among mothers. It highlights the need for shared responsibilities in domestic work, the impact of societal expectations, and the importance of emotional labor. The discussion also addresses the challenges of weaponized incompetence and the necessity for men to actively participate in parenting and household duties. Furthermore, it emphasizes the gaps in women's health research and the ongoing struggle for equality in both domestic and professional spheres.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Bridging the Gap05:02 Understanding Gender Equity and Unpaid Labor06:29 The Role of Men in Gender Conversations08:45 Common Struggles in Domestic Dynamics11:38 Weaponized Incompetence and Emotional Manipulation14:27 Navigating Patriarchy and Its Impact on Relationships17:09 The Importance of Emotional Availability19:38 Creating Systems for Domestic Equity22:20 Negotiating Household Standards24:50 Personal Stories and Reflections on Domestic Roles31:18 Breaking Generational Patterns33:46 Shared Responsibilities in Relationships35:15 The Invisible Mental Load40:28 Gaps in Medical Research44:22 Workplace Inequities46:22 Empowering Future Generations49:45 Raising the Bar for Parenting54:21 Encouraging Initiative in Dads
Takeaways
Many women are experiencing burnout due to societal pressures.Parenting issues are often systemic rather than individual.Men need to take accountability in parenting roles.Weaponized incompetence complicates domestic responsibilities.Emotional labor is often overlooked in discussions about parenting.Patriarchy affects both men and women negatively.Societal change is necessary for true equity in parenting.Building deeper connections with children requires shared responsibilities.Practical systems can help manage domestic duties effectively.Recognition of each other's efforts is crucial for a balanced partnership.
Keywords
parenting, gender dynamics, burnout, emotional labor, domestic responsibilities, patriarchy, societal change, family equity, recognition, health research
Sound Bites
"So many women are getting so burnt out""Weaponized incompetence is a real issue""We need to raise the bar for dads"
 

Ep 10: Let Go of Great Parenting with Amiee Carlton

You can find all Amiee's work here: amieecarltoncoaching.com 
Her instagram is: amieecarlton_coaching
You can find full videos of all these episodes on my youtube channel @alexindadland. Please follow me on instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
Summary
In this conversation, Alex Trippier and Amiee Carlton delve into the complexities of parenting, exploring themes such as the culture of blame, emotional communication, and the pressures parents face in striving for perfection. They discuss the importance of self-awareness, agency, and the need for a shift in perspective towards parenting, emphasizing that it is not about controlling children but understanding their needs and emotions. The dialogue also touches on the impact of socioeconomic factors and the evolution of parenting expectations in modern society, ultimately advocating for a more compassionate and understanding approach to raising children.
Takeaways
Parents can only change their own behavior, not their children's.The culture of blame in parenting leads to increased anxiety.Understanding the environment is crucial in addressing children's behavior.There is no absolute definition of good or bad parenting.Parenting is inherently challenging and requires patience.Agency in parenting means recognizing what we can control.Gentle parenting is often misunderstood and requires deeper understanding.Socioeconomic factors significantly influence parenting dynamics.Parenting expectations have evolved, leading to increased pressure on parents.Self-awareness is key to effective parenting and communication.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Parenting Coaching03:41 The Parent-Child Dynamic05:09 Understanding Behavior and Environment07:36 The Role of Ego in Parenting10:02 Cultural Constructs of Good and Bad13:07 Navigating Parenting Challenges15:26 The Selfish Nature of Parenting18:25 Socioeconomic Influences on Parenting20:20 The Importance of Relationships20:48 Understanding the Nervous System in Parenting22:21 The Debate on Gentle Parenting23:38 Defining Successful Parenting24:30 The Challenge of Emotional Acceptance26:40 The Exhaustion of Parenting Dynamics28:11 Building Relationships Takes Time29:56 Navigating Parenting in Public Spaces31:50 The Impact of Past Parenting Styles33:56 Connection Over Control in Parenting36:32 Understanding Anxiety in Children38:32 The Evolution of Parenting and Meaning42:03 Parental Anxiety and Its Effects44:18 Redefining Great Parenting47:23 The Complexity of Parenting Dynamics51:28 Building Effective Communication and Boundaries55:47 Embracing Growth Through Failure59:51 The Importance of Self-Work in Parenting
Keywords
parenting, communication, emotional intelligence, gentle parenting, parental anxiety, self-awareness, relationships, child development, parenting culture, agency
Titles
Navigating the Complexities of ParentingThe Power of Self-Awareness in Parenting
Sound Bites
"We live in a culture of blame.""Why is this happening?""It's hard because it's hard."